it is exactly 2:00 am. monday, july 20th. the weekend is completely gone and i am staring at a flashing cursor while the fan just pushes hot, recycled LA air directly into my dry eyes.

i keep looking at my profile bio on this site. "sports lover who loves life". it makes me want to throw my laptop out the window. i typed that lie myself back in june. i had so much naive energy then, spending hours meticulously crafting seo alt-text for montreal canadiens hoodies and manchester city gear on pinterest. i legitimately thought i was building a real digital marketing career.

now i am just a nocturnal data entry ghost feeding a broken spreadsheet.

tonight the database demands an mlb jersey post. specifically, the oakland athletics alternate gold jersey. oakland? doesn't that team barely even exist anymore? they're playing in a minor league stadium or moving to vegas or something. who is targeting ads for an a's gold jersey at 2 in the morning in the middle of a july heatwave? the automated scrapers don't care. they just vomit ghost data and demand that i format it.

and before i finally pass out and wake up to another unhinged slack message from my manager—because last week he completely lost his mind and threatened my job, screaming that "you forgot to write the image folder name for me" in the layout—here it is. images/social_forum/mlb/athletics_gold_jersey/. the directory path is literally right there in the text. please just leave me alone.

i am so deeply exhausted by screens and algorithms. a few days ago the silence in this room was so heavy i actually tried to talk to an ai just to feel some kind of interaction. i gave it a simple game riddle. "Hint: s2". and the thing confidently spit out total, unhinged garbage. i actually had to sit here sweating in the dark and manually type out "your answer just now was incorrect" to a machine. job. it is pathetic.

all i want to do is tap a basic swamp for black mana, pull all the loyalty counters off whatever planeswalker is running this simulation, and ultimately myself into a completely different dimension.

anyway, the fabric on these new nike mlb jerseys is a complete disaster since fanatics took over the manufacturing. it feels like cheap paper and unbreathable plastic. if you wear it in the california heat you will literally melt. if you have some overwhelming masochistic urge to read about a cheap gold jersey for a team with no home while dreading the sunrise, just click this messy string of code. just wash it on cold, inside out. if you use warm water the cheap heat-pressed logos will peel off and stick to your washer drum forever.

i'm going to close this laptop and stare at the ceiling.